SOYA

Life whisked me away, and put me on a long path full of more wholesome experience than I could ever imagine. As if being pulled off my stationary post, and instructed to go. I am unsure if I’m being pulled anymore.

No matter where I am, people remain the same, and so do I. I don’t lack sincerity, but I do lack expression.

What the fuck am I thinking… When will this feeling of being stalled end? The more I think about it, I’ve had this for the past 3 years.

Bedtime.

More updates? Well, I’ve stopped playing Archlord… that makes my domain sort of pointless. STUPID. I’m not sure when I’m going to get rolling with this whole web development thing. I’m relying on school to kind of take its course, but I have at least one more semester before I take any sort of class relating to web development/graphic design. Blah.

Recording is going down. I hope everything goes smoothly. Thus far, the drums sound awesome, and the vocals are heavy as crap. I’m really excited for these three song to come out. I hope it gets us somewhere. If not, I am surely satisfied with our, albeit small, musical efforts.

Saving for my trip to Asia is coming along. I think I will be able to do this no problem. I have just enough money for the flight, and should have somewhere around $2k spending money. This will be the adventure of a lifetime.

So… I pretty much have moved out. Sorta. It’s strange. I feel sort of pathetic saying that at 23, but I’ve never really been home enough to make money. Work to tour, tour, come home broke, work. Foreknown quit just as we were about to start making money. WHAT AN AWESOME DECISION WE MADE! Not that it was ever about the money.

My head is becoming cloudy again. Lack of Brain Age 2, or Gingko Biloba? Both? Maybe, there is no correlation at all!

Life feels as if its moving very quickly. I feel very busy, but I’m really not. I can’t stand working 8 hours and 45 minutes shifts. Actually, the biggest issue I have isn’t the time, but the time period. 1:45-10:30. It’s hard to get up, be motivated, and take advantage of your day when you have to work within a few hours.

I bought a new laptop. It’s small, very portable, and has the horsepower to play the newest games and medium-high settings. Stoked!

We’re playing with Sworn Enemy on Sunday. I’m stoked. I’d really love to tour this August. Last summer was an absolute blast. Despite having a lot of off dates, it was the most fun I’ve had with the guys in a long time.

No school this summer. It only took me two days to realize I wouldn’t be able to teach myself Math online… at least Algebra 2. It’s been two years since I took Algebra 1 and I remember next to nothing. Yeah, it’s High School level mathematics, but I fucked around in High School and took the easiest route possible. I really regret this looking back on it. I know a big portion of my education requires my effort, but it seemed it was really easy to breeze your way through High School. I really think the public school education system should make things a lot more difficult.

Brittany and I signed up for QwestDSL last week (and cancelled already). I’ve heard lots of horror stories about their customer service. During installation, I called tech support, and three times I dealt with some, obviously, foreign employees. They were friendly, and very helpful. When I called about cancelling, twice, the service was linked to offices within the U.S. These individuals were very rude, and seemed less knowledgeable about the Qwest products and services. I’m not sure if this problem is with Qwest’s training, or the differing attitudes of American and foreign employees.

Just like writing music, when I attempt to write my thoughts or convey my feelings, my mind goes blank. Not entirely, just enough to disable me from expressing the deeper regions of the foggy forest that is my brain.

I’m going to go through with my plans this time. I’m planning a trip for December, and going to Asia. A lot of work is to be done as I plan on going to many places within the region. I will certainly make the trip to at least ONE country. I don’t know if this “country-hopping” thing is feasible. I’m going to try though.

After work, where I currently write this, I’m heading to Minneapolis for my fiancee’s brother’s wedding. Surprisingly, I’m not nervous about meeting her extended family.

Currently, I don’t use this domain, and web host for anything but my blog. I thought I’d have come up with an actual use for it… other than just tinkering around.

I’m refreshing my knowledge of HTML… more like learning it all over again. A lot has changed since I first learned the language. XML and CSS seem to dominate the web development scene. Both of which I know next to nothing about. My goal is to develop an eye catching WordPress theme, and then start developing a mock game portal or MMORPG site. Unfortunately, I neglect my goals worse than I neglect this blog. >_<

Our show for the Duluth Homegrown Festival was great. I brought my new video camera, but forgot to have somebody record it. We played a really sweet set. The stage was nice, but sort of awkward. I played most of the set with a big wooden beam in front of me.

I am done with school for the semester. What a relief. I find myself being more satisfied with my time spent at Franklin. I am adjusting to the not so organized manner in which classes are conducted, and the heavy work loads. Yuck. I’ll be taking one class this summer. I’d like to enjoy my time not worrying about school, but I have to get SOMETHING out of the way.

Yesterday, the weather was absolutely beautiful. The temperature was in the 70’s. Today, it’s ugly, and 45. I can’t stand the weather patterns here! Blah.

School doesn’t start again for another money. I will be spending my time working a bit more, and doing some much needed hanging out, and writing music.

One’s feelings do not validate anything. Feelings validate truth for only one person, and that is yourself, and we all know how often humans mis-judge their own feelings.

Emotional appeal is everything in this country.

I’ve just purchased a cheap VuPoint DigiLife HD camera/camcorder. The model I purchased doesn’t have much info, but the older one’s have some YouTube demonstration which don’t seem too bad. Being I’m rather poor, and can’t afford anything more, I’m hoping it’s not a p.o.s. We’ll wait and see I guess. My main reason for the purchase: I want to start documenting my life via pictures and video. I don’t have many pictures with my fiancee, hardly any pictures of my life on the road with my previous, and current band, family, etc. If I ever manage to travel to Asia, I don’t want to rely on memories alone. In addition, I’d like to be able to share my experiences with others.

School is almost over. My main focus starting April 18th will be writing music. A four song E.P. is the goal. This is going to take some substantial effort, and dedication. I really want this to be the best material we’ve ever written.

I need to finish my tattoo.

It’s really time to start doing something more productive. If in fact my views are correct, and the world will soon be completely fucked over by private bankers, I will need to get out and experience as much as I can in the time I have.

My life isn’t yours. It isn’t my duty to pay the debt you consistently create to generate more.

One day I’m feeling completely secure, and the next, questions of insecurities and paranoia come. Sometimes I question myself if I’ve made any progress. One day you feel over it, and the next you’re completely in question.

I want to be done with this. I’m so determined.
I know I can garnish enough to succeed.

Your patience means so much to me. Please continue to demonstrate this sign of love. It really helps more than you think.